Oprah's House

A friend of a friend of a friend invited my wife and me to a fundraiser hosted by one of the world's most powerful women in her own home-and just like that, I found myself at Oprah's house.

Since childhood, my money madness has equated self-worth with net worth.  Conflating self-worth with net worth has driven much of my dysfunctional behavior around money, including my knee-jerk reaction to disconnect from those I perceive to have more or less than I do. I experience that separation not just in my mind and spirit, but in my body; I may greet someone wealthier with the appearance of ease and equality, but my body tells me I'm inferior-tight shoulders, a nervous stomach and a quickened pulse are the typical sensations. No doubt the other person feels nervous, closed-off energy on some level.

My money monster also made me assume that others would behave the same way-that is, if someone perceived me as richer then they were, they would distance themselves from me as a matter of course.  In order to stave off this distancing, I kept my money private for a long time. Ironically, the isolation led to less joy and, as I've connected more to the world without hiding my money, I've felt more joy, more inclusion and less separation from others.

Which brings us to Oprah. Here she is, a billionaire, a powerhouse, a woman of deep self-awareness with a profound sense of social-responsibility and connection, opening her home and encouraging all of her guests to get real and get open about their wealth.  

Oprah's honest, embracing energy powerfully reminded me that whether you're a billionaire or in debt, the more you can connect with others through money conversations, philanthropy, giving and receiving, the more we all feel a sense of inclusion and joy. Money does not have to be a force of divisiveness; it can be a tool for change and intimacy - if we're willing to use it.